


Ways to Say I Love You

by angstfilledimpala



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Bottom!Dan, Coming Out, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Smut, also there's mentions of stabbing, and blood, and cute, cursing, editing tips meme mention, most of the fic is just meant to be them together, on the internet, the death is only in a dream, there's some crack at the end, top!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 05:04:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5992576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstfilledimpala/pseuds/angstfilledimpala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some one shots based on on different ways to say I love you that ended up more like a fic:</p><p>Dan and Phil are quite happy together in their relationship that they've been keeping behind closed doors, and they make the decision that they're ready to come out to the internet once they know they won't be breaking up any time soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "It reminded me of you."

**Author's Note:**

> My gift for deathlvhallows on tumblr for the Phandom Valentine thing. A big thanks to problmemeatic on Tumblr for beta-ing this piece for me. I really appreciate it!
> 
> Also, I hope you enjoy the fic, deathlvhallows, and anyone else who reads this!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil goes shopping and buys Dan something while he's out.

The clock read a quarter to seven, and the timestamp of the message from Phil was from a quarter after six. Dan worried about Phil when he went out. Mostly because, well, Phil had a habit of talking to the strangest people, and honestly, it was a surprise he hadn’t been kidnapped by some random weirdo.

  
As Dan typed out a message asking if everything was okay, he heard Phil on the steps, so Dan set his phone down and got up to go see him.

  
“You need any help?” Dan asked as he noticed Phil struggling with four or so bags.

  
“Yes,” Phil gasped. Dan took the bags from his outstretched hands, and the two of them walked into the kitchen.

  
“How much food did you get?” He looked inside the bags placed on the tables, and found a lot of junk food, which he should have expected when he sent Phil on a journey to get ‘whatever we need’. It wasn’t a whole shopping trip with necessities for a week, just something to get them through a few more days before the inevitable trip to get whatever they could carry back.

  
More likely, there would be an increase in the amount of take-out foods.

  
“I needed a lot.”

  
Reality told Dan that Phil needed maybe half of what he bought as he was putting a third bag of crisps into the cupboards. This wasn’t an issue unless Phil went shopping hungry.

  
“Three bags?” Dan gave Phil an ‘are you serious?’ look.

  
Phil shrugged. “I thought it might last a while.”

  
“You are honestly ridiculous if you think these will last more than three days with your snack habits.” Dan ought to lock the food up, or hide it, but Phil was a hound when it came to snacks. Once he got a scent that there were snacks in the house, he found them, even if Dan hid them in what he thought was a good place. He’s pretty sure Phil’s sixth sense is finding junk food.

  
As Phil helped him put food away, Dan reached into one of the bags and grabbed something soft and most definitely not food. He squeezed the object, and figured it was a plush animal.

  
More like a plush demon.

  
“What the hell is this?” Dan gave the vaguely animalistic thing a long stare, then his eyes looked to Phil, whose face had a sense of disappointment plastered over it.  
“It’s a llama,” Phil answered like it was obvious.

  
“This is not a llama.” The more Dan studied the object, the more he sort of saw it, but the craftsmanship was bloody awful, and the eyes on what he could only assume was the head stared back at him, large and lifeless.

  
“It is! That’s the what the lady on the street told me anyway.”

  
“Oh my god, I can’t believe you bought this off some random woman on the street.” That attracting weirdos thing probably gave them a curse.

  
Phil’s voice is defensive and teetering on the line of angry at first, but it moves to soft. “I wasn’t going to at first, but it reminded me of you.”

  
Dan knew Phil wasn’t angry with him, but he was getting frustrated, and Dan understood he was pushing his luck, so he should back down.

  
In a weird way, there was something sweet about Phil thinking about him while he was out. Dan would have found it even sweeter if he wasn’t holding hellspawn.

“Thanks. I’m not sure how you see me in this thing.”

  
“It looks like a black llama, and you like llamas and the color black.”

  
“This thing is actually junk, Phil. What are you trying to say about me?”

  
The limit had been pushed, since Phil ripped the ‘llama’ out of Dan’s hand and tossed in the trash. “Nevermind, then.”

  
Then Phil left the room. Dan leaned against the counter. He eyed the trash bin. He’d pissed Phil off, and that meant Dan needed to leave him alone for a while until Phil cooled down. Well, this time.

  
Dan peeked into the hall to see that Phil really was in his room before Dan stepped over to the trash bin, and, he’d never admit it anyone ever, grabbed the “llama”.

Thankfully, they’d been productive enough to change the bag last night, so the only trash was paper towels from when Phil spilled coffee on the counter.

  
Dan took the little black thing with its abnormal legs and poor stitching, and set it right inside the cupboard. Maybe it could be good for something.

 

~

 

“WHAT THE--!?” came from the kitchen.

  
Dan had completely forgotten about it until he politely asked Phil to get a bag of crisps out of the cupboard.

  
Dan couldn’t help but laugh. He laughed harder when Phil stormed into the room. Dan’s ribs ached and he fell back onto the couch.

  
“It’s not funny,” Phil said, collapsing onto Dan.

  
“Get,” Dan choked, struggling to breathe, and he shoved Phil to get him away. “Off. Me.”

  
“You’re quite comfortable.”

  
Dan groaned. “I’m sorry.”

  
Phil jumped up from the couch, and Dan sat up while making sure he moved his legs out of sitting range.

  
“I forgive you, and I agree, that thing is like a little demon.” Phil reached for the remote to resume the movie.

  
“I told you. Did you throw it out again?” That thing was useful, but Dan wouldn’t fish it out of the trash again. There were some things he just couldn’t do twice.

  
“No.” Phil opened the bag of crisps in his hand, then he offered it to Dan, who took a handful out. “Why?”

  
“I was curious.” Dan didn’t find himself convincing, and it was obvious why he wanted to keep that thing forever now. It didn’t stop Phil this time, but maybe next time.


	2. "You can have half."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil ate all the biscuits and Dan wants to eat the last one.

When Dan went to grab a biscuit out of the package, he didn’t expect to grab the last one. Okay, well, maybe he should have expected it, but it was a surprise all the same.

At any rate, he tossed the empty package into the bin then went back into the lounge.

Phil sat on his end of the couch. Dan collapsed back on his end, and he took a bite out of the biscuit. He moved his warm laptop back onto his lap while eyes watched the biscuit in his hand. Dan wouldn’t give in to sharing though.

“Is that the last one?” Phil asked. Like he didn’t know.

“Yup,” Dan replied as he came across one of the ‘tag yourself’ images and read through each of them. Or, trying his hardest to because on another hand, he was deciding if he wanted to be nice today.

“They were really good.”

“Mmhmm.” Dan reblogged the photo, tagging himself as the one described ‘emo af’.

“We should get more.” Phil continued to eye the biscuit, which Dan took another bite out of, taking in the sweet taste of chocolate chips.

Dan glanced up from his screen, and noticed Phil staring at the biscuit. Nope, this biscuit belonged to Dan, and he intended to savor every bite.

There was no way he would give into those two sad longing eyes.

Dan glued his eyes to the screen and nibbled on the biscuit. Tumblr could be such an interesting place even as his best friend had his eyes on the biscuit in his hand.

Fine, Phil.

Dan tore the cookie in half, or what would have been half if he hadn’t already eaten it. Without looking up from his laptop screen, he handed Phil the half without the bite marks.

“You can have half.”

“Thank you.” Phil gratefully took the biscuit and out of the corner of Dan’s eyes, he’s sure half of it is already gone. Dan thought Phil should feel lucky as hell Dan loves him because otherwise he wouldn’t be getting that half.

“You’re welcome.” Phil’s attention moved to his own screen, and the two of them went into their browsing positions, content with simply sitting in the same room together.


	3. "It's okay."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil's up late and he hears a noise, so he goes to sleep with Dan.

It’s three am, and Phil was watching YouTube videos. He had reached that strange point in the night where anything goes. It all started with the cat videos after Dan said he went to bed, and now Phil found himself watching a cat giving birth with a mix of fascination and disgust. He covered his eyes throughout a lot of it, but he wanted to see the little kittens he found cute, despite their slimy appearance.

The video reached its end with an update that the kittens have all found loving homes. Phil looked at the time and decided he needed to do something that would relax him. As he went on a search for something to read, he heard a crash come from somewhere he thought was outside his room. Phil felt paralyzed as he stared at the door.

“Dan?” Phil asked. “Is that you?” He listened closely for any sort of reply.

None came. There was probably a murderer in their hallway. He was going to die. Dan was going to die. Maybe not if Phil stopped the intruder, so he looked for anything in the area that he might be able to use. His room didn’t have much to offer, so he grabbed his pillow because it was useful as both a shield and a weapon. Unless that weapon was a gun, in which case Phil was screwed.

He tiptoed to the door, almost tripping over a mug he had unknowingly knocked over with his feet moments ago, after making sure he had his phone on hand and pressed his ear against it. When he didn’t hear anything, he pulled the door open slowly. He tucked the pillow under his arm as he turned the flashlight app on.

He crept down the hallway, listening carefully for anything unusual. No one in the kitchen.

The lounge was empty, too.

The office? Empty.

Bathroom had no intruders.

Phil was too spooked to check the front door, so he went back upstairs and down the hall. He couldn’t go back to his room. It wasn’t like he could when his heart was beating too fast and the thought of sleeping alone didn’t give him any relief. There was no way Phil would feel safe on his own for the rest of the night. He opened the door to Dan’s room, which looked as normal as ever. Dan was sleeping soundly on his bed while Phil used the flashlight to find free space to fit his body on the mattress.

Phil laid on the bed, got under the covers, and turned on his side, staring at the back of Dan’s head. In here, Phil was safe. Dan was with him, and when they were together, Phil felt like nothing could go wrong.

Phil turned off the flashlight and tried to relax. He must have just imagined the sound.

Dan stirred. “Phil...?” he whispered.

“Hey, Dan. I’m sorry for waking you. I thought I heard an intruder, so I can’t sleep by myself,” Phil whispered back.

“It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

Dan nodded. “Yeah.”

Phil appreciated the fact that Dan was less irritated than he usually is when Phil wakes him up in the middle of the night.

“You wanna be the big spoon?”

“Okay.” Phil smiled, then he scooted closer to Dan and wrapped an arm around his torso. Their legs intertwined and the soft sounds of Dan’s breathing lulled Phil to sleep.


	4. "I saved you a seat."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil are out at the cinema with friends, and after the film, they about coming out to their fans.

“Phil, where are you going?” Dan whispered as the opening trailers played onscreen.

“To find a seat,” Phil responded quietly.

Dan moved his jacket from the seat next to him. The cinema was quite full since the film they’d decided on was popular, and Dan had wanted to make sure Phil got a seat near him. “I saved you a seat.”

Phil’s eyes moved down the row where the rest of their friends sat, except PJ, who had also gone to pee. “Oh. I thought that was PJ’s,” Phil responded softly as he slipped into the seat next to the aisle.

Dan leaned close to Phil and took his hand. “I wouldn’t save a seat next to me for PJ, Phil.” Dan was so relieved that the particular trailer on screen was dark because if anyone saw him and Phil like this, or at least recognized them in the dark, they’d be screwed.

“Yeah, that’s true.” It was a little rude to PJ. Dan would save him a seat too, but Phil came first when Dan only had one available seat.

Dan smiled in the dark as his thumb traced shapes on Phil’s hand. Dan wasn’t sure why he was feeling so touchy-feely with Phil. Maybe it was the fact that Phil seemed to smile back at him.

Dan’s breath hitched when Phil put his mouth near Dan’s ear. Whatever Phil had to say was something he only wanted Dan to hear.

"I wish we could make out."

Dan did, too. Even though the people who made out in cinemas bothered him, he wanted to do it just once. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn't do it that frustrated him so much.

"Phil, you've been looking forward to this film forever."

"I know." Phil stared right at him, their mouths close, and Phil unhooked his hand. His fingers ghosted up Dan's arm. For a moment, Dan considered screwing it. Screwing the whole secret relationship thing to be with his boyfriend in public.

Hot breath blew against his face. A foot kicked Dan's shin, and he turned to Louise.

"Pay attention," she whispered.

Warmth flowed to Dan's cheeks, and during any dull moment in the film, Phil's hands served as a distraction. A hand on his knee crept up his thigh. Another slid up and down Dan's arm, causing little jolts of electricity to run through Dan's body. When Dan got sick of that, he wrapped his hand around Phil's, and that seemed to stop things for a while.

The film ended, and as the lights came back on, they let go of each other's hands, and Dan followed Phil out of the cinema into the cold. They said goodbye to their friends and started the walk home. It wasn't exactly light out, but the walk wasn't long.

Dan pulled his hand out of his pocket and brushed it against Phil's, who grabbed Dan's hand. "You know what would be nice?" Dan spoke.

"Something hot to drink?" Phil replied, squeezing Dan's hand.

"Well, yes." The thought hadn't crossed his mind. "No, what would really be nice is if we could do this all the time." Dan swung their intertwined hands forward. "Like, without the lights out."

"I agree, but I don't think it's a good idea." Phil’s lips curled down into a frown.

The reality was the fans would go crazy. There'd be good and bad. The hate would increase, but that wasn’t much of an issue when it was easy to block people. However, Dan knew the support would be incredible. If they ever broke up, they would have to deal with a huge loss of fans because most of them were here for both of them. Imagine trying to make Dil videos with the guy you just broke up with. Awkward.

"I know. I think we should just forget that and make out on camera and call it fanservice." Dan had put serious thought into this. They could just post a video of them making out with no context. They don't have to say they're dating. People can just decide for themselves, and there would still be people who would deny their relationship. The hate was easy to avoid. 

The biggest issue was how things would change if they told everyone on the internet.

Phil laughed. "Calling it fanservice isn't a good excuse, Dan."

Dan buried his head into Phil's shoulder and shivered as cold winds beat against his face. "It's your fault in the first place that I even want to make out with you in front of millions of people."

"How is it my fault?"

"You know why." Dan didn't have to ask to know Phil knew better. It wasn't an act so much as Phil naturally acted innocent most of the time, but he could be as dirty as any man in his 20's when he wanted to be.

"Well, we’re home."

Dan separated himself slightly from Phil as Phil opened the front door, and the two walked into the foyer.

Suddenly, Phil pushed Dan against the wall. Dan's eyes glanced down at Phil's lips, and he breathed, "Do it."

Phil's kiss was needy, with hands wandering all over and breathless gasps heard every time they touched sensitive places.

"Shit. Phil, we have neighbors who could come out at any moment and see us," Dan said as lips kissed his neck.

Phil sighed, and pressed his forehead against Dan's. "I thought you were all about us making out in front of a million people," he teased.

"There's a difference between a few million strangers and our neighbors."

"It's not as though they don't already know we're together."

Dan blushed, remembering how thin their walls are and how he can never keep quiet.

"Still, we don't need to show them."

Phil quickly pulled Dan upstairs and into their own apartment where they could enjoy the privacy of no fans and no neighbors. They hadn’t made it all the way to the bedroom when Dan connected his mouth to Phil’s again as they resumed where they had left off.


	5. "I made two."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan knows how clumsy Phil can be, and it just so happened that Dan made a second mug for Phil before he spilled it all.

Dan instinctively reached for the towel they kept in the kitchen for occurrences like Phil dropping the coffee pot on the ground, as he had just done. Dan got down on his knees and wiped up the brown liquid on their tiled floor, while Phil picked up the coffee pot, which, miraculously, hadn't broken into a million pieces.

"Hey, Dan, can you make another pot, please?" Phil asked placing the pot back in the coffee maker.

"Actually..." Dan got up and wrung the towel out in the sink. He made the pot before Phil got up, so Dan already had time to fill his own mug. "Lucky for you, I prepared for this kind of situation." He revealed a second mug from inside the cupboard which was filled with coffee.

Phil took the mug and sipped it. "Do you do this often?"

Dan leaned against the counter and shrugged it off like it was no big deal. "You have a habit of dropping things, so yeah." He smiled fondly at Phil's enjoyment of the drink.

Phil wrapped an arm around Dan's middle, his other hand carefully holding the mug. "You're amazing." He gave Dan's nose a peck.

Dan beamed. "I don't know about that..."

"You are."

Dan looked at the ground and blushed. Sometimes Phil’s compliments were too much for Dan in a good way, and Dan reverted to his younger self. A heart that beat fast and butterflies in his stomach. They had been together for about two years, but Phil still made him feel the same as he felt in the beginning.

Dan rolled his eyes. "If you say so..."

"Hey." A hand gently pushed Dan's head up to stare eye to eye with his boyfriend. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Ew, I don't want to taste your coffee breath." Dan moved his head back from Phil's, a playful grin on his lips.

"That bothers you?" They had shared plenty of kisses after one or both of them had coffee.

"It's more the fact that you haven't brushed your teeth yet."

Phil brushed off his comment. "So, you got any plans today?"

The question struck Dan as odd. When he had plans of any kind, he told Phil. Hell, most of Dan's plans involved Phil anyway. "No?"

"Great. I'm taking you out tonight." Phil kissed his cheek, then removed his arm from around Dan and left before Dan had the chance to say anything.

Dan sipped his own coffee, wondering what Phil had planned. It wasn't uncommon for Phil to drag Dan out of the safety of their flat, but he usually gave more details out than that.

The thought of marrying Phil crossed his mind, like it did often these days. It's not as though it would be much different than what they were doing now except they'd legally be together forever. The worry about the aftermath of such an arrangement seeped into his skull again.

How absolutely ridiculous it would be for them to get married, and Dan was content with how things were. But really, he felt like that was the next step for them, and so Dan made his way to the lounge, fantasizing, thinking about which rolled off his tongue better, Dan Lester or Phil Howell.


	6. "No reason."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date, a marriage proposal, and sex. Dan and Phil talk more about coming out on the internet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the longest part of the whole thing. Also, this is the one with the smut, which starts after Dan says, "Bedroom?", and pretty much goes until the end of the chapter.

"I'm hungry," Dan whined. If it wasn't Phil's turn to cook tonight, Dan would be eating right now.

"Let's go out, then," Phil replied.

Oh, yeah, the plans. The ones Dan spent a solid hour trying to get Phil to spill. As much as Dan wanted the mystery to be solved, he wanted to stay in more. Going out meant getting dressed and dealing with strangers.

"I think they we should stay home."

"That's not romantic."

"Then let's make it romantic. You can make me food, we'll light some candles and turn the lights out, and we can even eat at the table so it's like we went out." That was generally how the two of them did Valentine's day, the only difference being Dan cooked on that day.

Phil narrowed his eyes and shook his head slowly. "Dan..."

Dan frowned and almost crossed his arms, but he was not that stubborn. "I don't want to go out."

"Please?" Phil had sad eyes, the ones that were pouty and Dan really hated because they made him feel a little bad about his stubbornness. Dan internally sighed.

Dan sighed, shutting his laptop and getting up from the couch. "Okay, fine, but I need to go take a shower."

Phil gave him a small smile. "Thank you."

Dan left the lounge and headed to his room. "You're lucky I love you," he muttered while looking through his closet for something nice to wear on this date.

~

"Okay, so why are we at a place this classy?" Dan asked once they were seated.

“No reason,” Phil answered with a shrug.

There's something about this that's suspicious to Dan, but dwelling on that would only lead to disappointment if that wasn't the case, so they made small talk between drinks, discussed what they planned to order, talked a little about they thought they might do for their next video on DanandPhilGAMES, and through all that, they held hands under the table until their waiter came around to check on them.

When they eat, they don't talk much at first, mainly because they were starving. 

Dan ate neatly almost all the time. There were some foods that challenged him, but he tried his best. Sushi happened to be a not too messy food. Tonight, though, he was hyper aware of it, as nervous as he'd felt on their first date.

"How are you feeling?" Phil asked, breaking the comfortable silence between the two of them.

"I'm good," Dan answered, swirling the ice cubes in his drink with the straw. "Why?"

"You don't look good."

Dan glanced up at Phil before staring back down at his drink. "Wow, Phil. Way to make me feel good about myself."

"I'm sorry I dragged you out."

"It's fine, but you're my boyfriend." In the same line of view as the glass, Dan saw Phil's hand, and he wanted to reach for it. "And, fuck, I can't even hold your hand on the table in public."

Phil's hand moved slightly like he thought the same thing. "I know."

"I'm ready to tell people." Dan put a hand up to signal that he wasn't finished. "I know we said we would wait, but let's be honest, we're probably not going to break up. We already know what living together is like. You know, it's not healthy that we have some separation anxiety when we're away from each other for more than a few days, but we'll think differently in a few years anywa--"

Phil's face lit up. "I agree. We're both ready to tell the fans."

"Oh, thank god." Dan's heart raced, and even though he was just sitting here, his lungs felt like he had run a marathon. "I've been thinking about it a lot."

"Me too. How are we going to tell them?" Phil asked between eating the food on his plate.

Dan sipped his drink. He'd given this a lot of thought in the past. 

Tweets would make it sweet, short, and to the point, but that never really appealed to him. Livestream was possible, but YouNow might crash in the middle of their announcement. "I was thinking a video."

"I like that idea."

Dan smiled as he picked up another piece of sushi with his chopsticks, and kept his excitement inside for the remainder of dinner.

~

When Dan entered the flat, he was ready to sleep. His bed was all the way up a billion stairs and down an endless hallway. He would have gone straight to bed, but Phil asked him to stay up, so Dan went into his room to change out of his coat, jeans, and button-up shirt in exchange for the more comfortable sweatpants and soft t-shirt combo.

Dan opened his bedroom door to find no light, except the glow of some light, most likely candles, coming from the other end. He flipped off his switch and and walked in the darkness to the mystery.

He turned the corner, entered the lounge, and nearly jumped out of his skin when Phil, whose face was lit only by the warm glow of his infinite candle collection, stood in front of him.

Dan put a hand to his heart. "Jeez, you scared me."

"Sorry," Phil replied as he took Dan’s hands in his own. It's now that Dan noticed the music playing quietly, probably from Phil's phone.

Phil's touch is gentle and it's nice. It helped calm Dan down. He was almost ready to forget the fact that this evening had not gone the way he had hoped, and he might have if disappointment didn't lurk in his mind.

Disappointment often mixed with self-doubt. Maybe Phil didn't want to get married soon, and maybe it was just Dan who wanted it. They were already domestic, why not seal the deal?

"Let's go over to the sofa."

Dan let Phil walk the two of them over, and Dan took a seat, their hands still together for a few, lingering moments before Phil let go.

Phil bit his lip, and Dan watched intently as Phil reached for something inside the sofa cushion, and Dan tilted his head slightly to the side.

Dan's not sure he could move or speak right now. He didn't have to see what's inside the little, black box in Phil's hand to know.

Phil's on his knees in front of Dan, and Phil took a deep breath while Dan held his breath as Phil began to speak.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," Dan replied softly.

"I don't want to be with anyone else. We've been together so long and we have so much in common and I can't imagine my life without you, Dan." Phil's hands were shaking when he opened the little box. "So, will you marry me?"

The whole thing wasn't too much, and Dan couldn't have asked for more except maybe Phil could have just gone straight to the point, but Dan knew Phil wasn't one to express his feelings through words.

Dan beamed and nodded. "Yeah."

Phil took the ring out; it was silver and had a small, round diamond, and Dan stared at it for a good moment, smiling to himself.

Dan reached out to pull Phil toward him. Their lips met, Phil leaned over the couch and Dan cupped his face.

Dan asked, breathless when they pulled away, "Bedroom?"

Phil nodded, and the two of them kissed their way down the hallway to Phil's bedroom because both agreed it was the comfier of the two beds. 

Phil pushed Dan down onto the bed, his mouth kissed down Dan's neck and his hands wandered under Dan's shirt causing little jolts of electricity everywhere Phil touched, and heat started to spread lower.

Dan needed Phil to touch him anywhere and everywhere. Eagerly, Dan helped Phil take off their shirts, and brought Phil's lips down to his. Dan moaned softly into the kiss as Phil's hands wandered his chest.

Phil stopped kissing him. "Are we having sex tonight?" he asked.

Dan chuckled because it seemed obvious to him, but on the side, Dan appreciated Phil for not assuming they were going to have sex just because they were together, and he had to admit, it was a turn on to hear Phil ask.

"We're half-naked on your bed, and I want you to fuck me, so yes," Dan answered.

Phil grabbed Dan's wrists and pinned them above his head. "You shouldn't swear."

"How should I have put it then; I want you to frick me?" Dan snorted. Dan would screw anyone who said that to him after he laughed for a decade. "Would that turn you on, Phil?"

"Probably not."

"Thanks for your honesty." As Dan finished his sentence, Phil started nipping and sucking on Dan's neck, which elicited soft moans from Dan.

One thing Dan has learned is that there is no sexy way to take off trousers, but part of that might be due to the fact that Dan typically wore trousers that literally stuck to his legs.

Dan moaned louder when Phil's mouth was on those sensitive places that drove Dan crazy with want. Hands wandered bodies, touching soft skin and sending electricity between the two of them.

Dan always got so smug whenever he got Phil to moan because their first few sex encounters consisted of Phil's making some kind of attempt because he was just so nervous, but so was Dan but he never let that stop himself from letting Phil know what effect his actions had on Dan.

Phil was not one to let Dan get that satisfaction without a response. He took his time with every inch of Dan, and Dan squirmed underneath him as he unexpectedly let out a whine. Dan knew the whole point of Phil's appreciation of Dan's body was an expression of love, but really an "I love you" and "I'm going to put my dick inside you now" would have sufficed.

Dan licked his lips and watched Phil open the drawer of the nightstand and take out lube and a condom.

Dan spread his legs, brought his knees up, and gasped when Phil's lubed fingers pushed inside him. It took a few tries, but Phil hit that place that made Dan a moaning mess, and he repeated the movement, inserting another finger.

He panted as Phil unwrapped the condom and rolled it up his dick. He positioned his legs as Phil got in between them and carefully slid the condom into Dan's hole.

There's always those few awkward moments where Phil's just inside Dan as his body adjusted. From there, Phil's movements are slow, deep, and he made out with Dan, tongues exploring familiar mouths and stifling moans from both of them.

Dan's hands were roaming Phil's chest until they got to Phil's hips and they gripped the soft, skin as Phil brought pleasure into himself and Dan.

Dan's able to keep his voice down, moaning praises into Phil's neck every time he hit Dan's prostate, until he gets close and with every touch, Dan got louder. Along with Phil's name, Dan cursed, and the best part of when they had sex, when Phil was close, a few swears words always escaped his lips.

With tensed muscles, high levels of pleasure and Phil's dirty words in Dan's ear offering the encouraging words, Dan shouted out Phil's name as he came on his stomach.

Phil moved in and out of Dan, moaning and cursing, and he's sped up more, and it's not long before Phil's coming inside Dan.

For a moment, the two of them stayed in that position, not up for moving until Phil gently pulled out of Dan, took off the condom and tossed it in the bin next to bed, then grabbed a few tissues to clean both of them off. It was unlikely that they'd get up and bother with showering, so a less sticky mess worked for now.

They're both panting and laid out on the bed, and it's nice to just listen to each other's breathing settle. Dan's ready to snuggle into his boyfriend-now-fiance when he realized, "We forgot to blow out the candles." He got ready to get up.

"I'll do it," Phil said, already halfway across the room.

"Phil, don't. I feel bad. I didn't even do anything." Dan rarely topped, and by topped, he meant riding Phil, except for that one time Dan actually tried topping. Neither one of them had enjoyed that sex all that much.

"That's not true."

"It is."

"Then you can do nothing some more." Phil left without giving Dan the chance to argue.

He curled up under the covers despite the fact that his body was hot and sweaty, but without Phil's body, Dan's would quickly become cool.

His eyes closed and his body relaxed, and he started to slowly drift to sleep when he heard the bedroom door close, and his body became more awake again as Phil's weight dipped the bed as he got under the covers.

"I love you," Phil whispered, snuggling into Dan as Phil wrapped an arm around Dan and took one of his hands.

"I love you, too," Dan replied, smiling softly. He thought about their future for a little while until he soon fell asleep, dreaming about weddings and kids and the future of their domestic lives.


	7. "Take a deep breath."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan has a nightmare, and Phil's there to calm him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the major character death chapter, but also the major character death is only a dream. This chapter also has all the blood, murder, and stab wounds.

Dan made his way up the stairs to his and Phil's flat, and Dan stopped halfway up to the hallway of their home when he realized that Phil wasn't waiting for him. Not that Phil always waited for Dan, but more often than not Dan could count on Phil to be waiting for him. Especially when Dan shopped for food.

"Phil?" Dan called out as he walked up the remaining stairs.

No response.

Dan grabbed his phone out of his pocket and looked to see if Phil had left any messages pertaining to where he was.

The last message from Phil was from 45 minutes ago saying, 'i love you, bee careful', and there was a bee emoji. Dan had chuckled when he saw it.

Dan turned the knob on the lounge door, which if he had been thinking straight, he would have observed how weird it was for that door to be shut.

He's not sure he wanted to find out what was on the other side. For all Dan knew, there was a murderer on the other side of the door. Finding out took forever since Dan couldn't look and find out.

The lounge looked empty. Everything was in its proper place, and Dan couldn't place why it seemed so empty, until he realized empty wasn't the right word.

Silent. That's it.

Dan found nothing out of the ordinary except a lack of Phil.

"I'm home!" Dan cried out again.

Nothing.

His hands shook. His heart raced. His stomach twisted into an anxious knot as Dan made his way down the hall. 

No Phil in the kitchen.

...

No Phil in Dan's room.

...

No Phil in Phi--

Dan's heart stopped as he stared at blood. A lot of blood. Too much blood tainted a blue and green blanket, and all that blood belonged to the man in the dark hair who laid, unresponsive, on the bed.

Dan couldn't figure out how to respond. His body was frozen, and from here, Dan saw the stab wounds. He backed away, and bumped into something solid. Dan didn't have the chance to look back or scream as the murderer put a hand to Dan's mouth, and with a tight grip, pulled Dan away.

~

Phil was jolted awake by a hand that had latched onto his arm and the light that now flooded their part of the room from the lamp. He squinted as his eyes adjusted, looking up at Dan who looked paler than usual and looked to be on the verge of tears.

Phil sat up. "What's wrong?" he asked, taking one of Dan's hands in his own.

"I had a nightmare," Dan answered, voice cracking.

"It wasn't real," Phil assured. He rubbed a hand reassuringly along Dan's arm.

"Phil, it felt real, and I don't like it." Dan nuzzled his head against Phil's chest like a little child, and Dan fought against the tears, thinking about how lifeless Phil had looked. Those blue eyes without the light in them.

"It's okay." Phil rubbed Dan's back. It hurt Phil's heart to see Dan so upset. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't, I don't think I can."

Phil's shirt felt wet, and he realized Dan was crying.

"That's okay. You don't have to."

Dan voice, muffled by the t-shirt and shaky from the crying. "I'm so glad you're alive, Phil. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I'm here. You're fine." Phil took the statement and figured out what Dan had a nightmare about. "Take a deep breath."

Dan cried, sniffling now and then, and eventually, he took a deep breath when he started to calm down. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Don't be. I'm here to help you through things like this." Phil wrapped his arms around Dan in a warm embrace, and he could feel Dan relax as Phil ran a hand through Dan's hair.

"Thank you for that." Dan sat up, and Phil kissed his forehead.

"You're welcome." Phil glanced at the clock, which said it was after three am. "Do you think you can fall back asleep?"

Dan nodded. "Can we leave the light on for a bit?"

"Sure." The two let go of each other long enough to lay down, then they laid down, staring at other and in each other's arms.

Phil closed his eyes, and noticed the light went out.

"Actually, I think we'll be okay without it."

Phil smiled in response. Falling asleep was not an easy task as Phil thought too much about Dan's nightmare, but he was pleased to listen to Dan's breathing as he slept. The sound soothed Phil along with knowing that Dan was right there beside him, and they could take on a murderer as long as they had some kind of warning.

Phil got to sleep, but not before noticing the clock said it was close to five am. Well, Phil was happy to make Dan feel better after his nightmare, so he didn't mind at all.


	8. "I love you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil make and post their coming out video.

Two weeks had passed since the engagement, and they posted a Sims video. Dil and Tabitha had their first kid and Dil was an elder now. The days with Dil were limited. Dan and Phil weren't sure if they'd continue after Dil died. During the filming, Dan had taken off his ring in case of any slip-ups.

Honestly they made the video to put off _the video_.

"I think we should do it today," Phil said, interrupting Dan absentmindedly turning the ring around his finger. Since getting it, Dan was always touching it like if he didn't, it might not exist. That this wasn't reality. But Dan also just didn't want to lose it, and as long as he felt it there, he knew it was still on his finger.

"Yeah," Dan replied. The confidence and sureness about it all had dissolved overnight two weeks ago, he was left thinking they could stay in the internet closet forever. Except that Dan knew he would hate that.

"You're right. Let's do it." They set up the camera, lights, and mic, and Dan finished up as Phil came back from the bathroom.

"What do we even say, Phil?" Dan asked leaning on his hand, which rested on the arm rest. He realized they hadn't planned a thing and sighed.

"We could just...say it?" Phil suggested. So they were on the same page plan wise, but Dan wasn't having any of that.

~

The video started out with Dan and Phil smiling. Dan's wave was quick, done with his ringless hand while Phil waved a little longer.

"Hey guys," Dan said.

"Hi," Phil spoke next.

"Phil and I have some very important news to share with you all." Dan looked briefly at Phil with the same fondness Tumblr users made posts about. "And we before we share it, I just want to say that it's not because we didn't trust you guys, but we didn't feel ready to tell you."

A cut in the video.

They spent 20 minutes or so trying to figure out exactly how they wanted to word it and several attempts to actually say it in unison. The one time they did got into the video.

"We're together!"

Another cut. Phil's the next one to speak.

"We know what you're thinking, and yes, we are in a relationship. In fact..." Phil reached for Dan's hand, the one with the ring, and held their hands up to camera level. He grinned, just as excited to tell their fans about it as he was when they told Phil's parents. "We're getting married!"

It's still just as exhilarating to say it as it was the first time.

The video went on with the two of them giving a brief history of how long they'd been together, their current lack of wedding plans, how they weren't planning to make out on camera (sorry to disappoint), then Phil kissed Dan on the cheek, they said goodbyes, and it came to an end.

Dan watched through the video for the fifth time. It wasn't uploaded yet, and he was having second thoughts again.

"You haven't posted the video yet," Phil said, walking into Dan's room.

Dan sighed, watching him and Phil yet again talk about it. "I'm scared," Dan replied, taking his hand off the mouse and turning his desk chair to face Phil.

"If you're not ready, we can wait."

"No. I am, just, it's gonna change everything."

"How much different is it going to be? Everyone acts like we're dating anyway."

"Yeah, but..." Dan sighed again, and leaned against the desk chair. "You know, maybe you're right."

"I do understand if you want to wait."

"Do you want to wait?" Phil's too nice to Dan. Dan knew how much this also meant to Phil, and really, he wasn't wrong. There'd be the homophobic comments, but Dan was prepared for that shit. By prepared, he was ready to pretend they didn't exist, which was easy in the first place. It was the privacy Dan would miss. Although he missed that already, so sitting here rewatching the video over and over again changed absolutely nothing. He's brought back into reality with Phil's comment.

"Honestly? I don't."

"All right, I'll upload it." With that, Dan took the necessary steps to publicly come out to the internet, knowing he was ready because Phil was ready, and they would make it through anything. Even the crazy place that was the internet.


	9. "Editing tips?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil's bored and Dan's memes haunt him outside of the internet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The crack chapter. Also, the final chapter and just something I wanted to add.

Dan was busy editing a video of his when he heard his bedroom door open. He turned around and saw Phil entering, carrying a plate of food.

"Oh my god. You made food?" Dan asked, ready to abandon all his work for something to eat.

"Yeah, it's in the kitchen if you want some," Phil answered, but Dan hadn't even heard the whole sentence because he was halfway down the hall. The effort of editing always made him hungry.

Dan eagerly made himself a plate of the stir fry, then he went back to his room and raised an eyebrow at the scene in front of him. Phil laid on Dan's bed, fully clothed, in some poor attempt to look sexual.

"Hey, Dan," Phil said in a low, attempt to be sexy voice.

"Hey. Phil," Dan replied, ready to retreat if things got really weird.

"Do you want to give me some editing tips?" Phil gave Dan an over-exaggerated wink. Dan sighed, rolling his eye.

"Oh my god. What are you doing?"

"I'm offering my amazing editing skills."

"Do you mean editing skills or _editing skills_?"

"Editing skills." Phil slid a hand up his thigh in some gesture that was supposed to turn Dan on.

“Thank you, Phil.” Dan went back to his seat and ate while he started to edit his video again.

“I’m really bored,” Phil complained, and Dan could hear him rolling around on the bed.

“There’s nothing I can do about that right now,” Dan replied as he forked up some of the food and stuffed it in his mouth.

“We could invite some friends over and play a board game.” Dan glanced at the clock. “It’s late. Who’s going to come over at this time?”

“That’s true. When you’re done, we should play a game.”

The whole conversation was distracting, and Phil always was distracting when he was bored and Dan was busy editing, except this time it was one of Dan’s own videos, so Phil was under no obligations to help. Which sucked for Dan.

“I’m feeling pretty tired, Phil. I guess you’ll have to play Mario Kart all by yourself.” Dan may or may not be saying it because Phil will want to help him so Dan’s not too tired. He’s honestly just feeling lazy and wants to be done, but the video also has to be quality, so it’s a struggle.

“So you want those editing tips now?” The bed made noise as Phil got up.

“Sure, I’ll have those editing tips now.” Dan sat back, eating his food, as Phil helped him out. The video looked decent now, and all Dan had to do now was create the thumbnail.

He’ll just do it later.

“Thanks, Phil. I appreciate it,” he said with a smile.

“You’re welcome, Dan. Now can we go play Mario Kart?” Phil looked at him with hopeful eyes.

“Sure.” Dan got up from his chair and the two of them went out to the lounge to play Mario Kart. Dan won almost every round, and the rounds Phil won were only because Dan ‘let him’, and  _only_  because of that. Dan did not have bad rounds of Mario Kart.


End file.
